


Reichenbach Nightmare

by dixons_mama



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Flashbacks, John Has Regrets, John Watson Loves Sherlock Holmes, M/M, Nightmares, Plotbunny, Regrets, Reichenbach Falls, Reichenbach Feels, no real plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 16:49:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10495296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dixons_mama/pseuds/dixons_mama
Summary: John confesses his love to Sherlock as he stands on top of St. Barts. Sherlock still jumps, and it haunts John.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This honestly has no real plot. The idea was just muddling through my head and I wanted to get it out. If an actual plot ever comes to me, I will fix this and add more chapters. No promises that this will ever happen though, my mind is a fickle place.

John refuses to believe a word Sherlock has told him. He knows Sherlock too well, more than he thought possible. In ways he knew no one else did.  
"No. All right, stop this now." He tries to demand, but he knows his voice is full of fear. He begins walking forward to the hospital's entrance. Maybe if he runs...  
"No!" Sherlock urgently tells him, "Stay exactly where you are. Don't move." John steps back, holding his hand up.  
"All right." He says in defeat. He sees Sherlock holding his own hand out towards him.  
"Keep your eyes fixed on me. Please, will you do this for me?" Sherlock's voice sounds frantic.  
"Do what?" John asks, his stomach is filled with knots and his breath is nearly caught in his throat.  
"This phone call- it's, er.. my note. It's what people do, don't they? Leave a note?" John knows exactly what Sherlock is saying. Tears sting his eyes and he can't hold them back.  
"No, Sherlock. Don't leave me, please.. I lo.. I love you!" John is gasping for breath, he can't lose Sherlock, not like this. Even at this distance, he can see Sherlock's hand is shaking.  
"Good bye, John." Is Sherlock's only response before tossing his phone. John feels like his heart has stopped, his lungs seize as he watches Sherlock step off of the roof.  
......  
John gasped, sitting up quickly in his bed. Tears poured down his face and sweat had dampened his entire body. He could barely catch his breath as his heart pounded heavily in his chest.  
Reality hit him hard as he remembered it wasn't just a dream. Sherlock was really dead. He had actually watched his best friend step off of a roof. He saw Sherlock's lifeless body, covered in blood. He had felt his lifeless wrist in his hand.  
He had told Sherlock that he loved him, and it hadn't made a damn bit of difference. John had hoped his confession would stop his friend, instead, Sherlock had simply told him good bye. Perhaps there was nothing that he could have said that would have stopped Sherlock. The idea felt like an absolute lie, though.  
"It doesn't matter," He thought to himself. Nothing mattered anymore. John was alone. Sherlock, his best friend, the love of his life, was gone. Not just gone, though. He was dead. Sherlock Holmes was dead.  
John would never know what it felt like to hold Sherlock in his arms. The only time he had ever been able to even touch Sherlock was the time they ran, handcuffed, through alleyways together. John's hand balled into a fist, trying the remember the feeling of those slender fingers, wrapped around his hand.  
Placing his fist to his lips, a loud sob escaped him. There had been so much he wanted to say, but he had been too much of a coward. Too locked away by his own fears. If he had told Sherlock earlier, maybe that could have changed everything.  
"It doesn't matter." John whispered it out loud this time, because it really didn't matter. He had to stop thinking about all of the 'what ifs'. They didn't change anything, and they never would.


End file.
